


A Rise for Every Challenge

by rinrambles



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: More characters to be added, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-08-19 22:01:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8226128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinrambles/pseuds/rinrambles
Summary: Adria Surana used to be ambivalent towards her life in the tower.  She had simple goals revolving around spending her life there.  However, the death of her friend during her Harrowing has left Adria suspicious of the Circle Tower's inner workings.





	1. Kinloch Hold

**Author's Note:**

> It's high time I start posting this! My contributions to the Dragon Age fandom. More to come in the coming weeks :)

Adria Surana is ambivalent towards the Tower.  Many people fear it, still others hate it, very few people enjoy the Tower—at least, as far as apprentices go.  Adria reasons that she is somewhat lucky to be a mage.  Anywhere else in Ferelden, Adria would be a servant, or be forced to live in an alienage.  While technically, she could be considered a prisoner, Adria at least feels she has some control over her choices.  She chooses which books she reads, she chooses which magic to study, she chooses who she spends her time with outside of her formal training.  Granted, those choices are limited to what is in the Circle and allowed by the Circle.  But Adria continues to figure that life could be worse. 

Feeling the magic in her veins is one of her favorite things.  She loves being able to summon forth Fire and Lightning at will in their most primal states.  She wishes perhaps that she was better at Creation spells, but the idea of destroying things is always nice in the back of her head.  Not that Adria really knows what she’s going to destroy.  The Circle Tower was made to be indestructible.  And where would she go should she escape?

Like it or not, the Circle Tower has been Adria’s home for as long as she can remember.  Other children have stories about the first time they cast magic followed by the Templars coming and taking them away.  Some stories are more horrific than others.  Adria must have been very young the first time she cast magic to have no memory of anything but the Circle Tower.  Perhaps that is why she’s simply ambivalent. 

“What has got your mind so occupied?”

The sweet voice brings Adria out of her contemplation and she turns to see Nidora standing next to her.  It occurs to her that she’s been standing in front of the mirror for quite some time.  Other girls might want to use it.  Adria puts her hair clip in her mouth and begins twisting up her curls into a tight knot.  She turns away from the mirror, the motion of putting up her hair a motion she has long-since memorized.  She does it as she walks back to her bed. 

When Adria stops, Nidora comes to stand in front of her, snakes her arms around Adria’s middle, and kisses her nose. 

“What do you suppose the seniors have in store for us today?” Nidora asks.

“More guided study with our mentors surely, surely,” Adria replies. 

Nidora and Adria are no longer children, so they are not taught in large groups anymore.  However, they aren’t truly old enough to be considered for the Harrowing either.  They are in-between.  They are given mentors who help set their study and practice schedules.  A lot of time is leftover for personal study, which leaves time for other things, as a plus.

Nidora not-so-subtly traces the backs of her fingertips down Adria’s newly-grown bosom.  The feeling is one of Adria’s new favorites. 

Adria, now finished with her hair, takes the opportunity to put her arms around Nidora.  Nidora is plumper than Adria, mostly because she is human and Adria is an elf.  Adria feels that she is skin and bones and almost wishes she could put on more weight.  Nidora is comfortable in her skin and with the amount of food that she eats.  Adria wishes she were more comfortable in her own skin. 

Nidora kisses Adria’s cheek.  “Shall we go find Jowan and pester him about upcoming exams?”

“Yes,” Adria says, smiling.  “Because pestering Jowan is always fun.”

The two of them practically skip out of the girls’ dormitory and head to the library, where Jowan surely is. 

Nidora and Jowan are everything to Adria.  They are her best friends.  In Nidora’s case, Adria’s lover.  While both girls know that Jowan is theoretically into women, he is not into either of them.  In the back of her mind, Adria knows that she and Nidora are too young to be messing around the way they are.  But there are few true pleasures in the Circle, and the only true forbiddance for apprentices is the women cannot get pregnant.  (Technically, relations with any of the Templars is forbidden too, but if the Templar initiates it… there’s not much a mage can do.)  Mages cannot get married at all, but that is not to say bastard children do not exist.  A little messing around between two girls probably won’t draw anyone’s notice. 

Jowan is indeed in the library.  He pours over books like a sponge dropped in the sink.  He absorbs everything he reads, desperate for information.  Adria admires his studiousness, though she can’t find it in herself to be that interested in any book.  Adria would rather be practicing than reading theory.  Nidora also refuses to understand Jowan’s desire to read so much.  Nidora hates studying.  However, Nidora also has a great magical talent and is often praised by those higher in status. 

Nidora is the one who is going places, all three of them know it.  Jowan studies the way he does to differentiate himself—Adria can understand that.  If he works hard enough, he’ll surely get somewhere too.  As for Adria herself, she is content to continue on living this way forever.  She likes being able to predict her days. 

“Hello, Jowan,” Nidora says, poking Jowan in the ribs.

“Not now, Nidora!” Jowan wails exasperatedly.  “I think I might finally be understanding the theory behind…”

“Can’t it wait?” Nidora asks.  “You should probably come with us to the dining hall anyway, so you can, you know, _eat_?”

Jowan sighs and slams the book shut.  “Now that you’ve broken my concentration, I might as well.”  He turns to look at you.  “Good morning, Adria.”

“Morning Jowan,” Adria says, a smile coming to her lips.  She finds the antics between Nidora and him amusing. 

The three young apprentices go to the dining hall where there is already breakfast out on the large tables.  Only dinner in the Tower is a remotely formal affair, and even then, mages of nearly any rank can be excused for the right reasons. 

Adria spoons herself up a bowl of oatmeal out of the pot closest to where they sit.  She’s not picky about breakfast, so long as it’s breakfast food.  Nidora goes up and down the table, piling her plate with toast, eggs, fruit, and the like.  When she sits back down, she plops some berries into Adria’s bowl and grins at the other girl.  Adria grins back. 

Jowan, meanwhile, grabs some toast and munches on it absentmindedly, his nose back in a book.  Adria tries to read the title on the leather binding.  Some tome about advanced magic-casting techniques. 

“Is that an assigned book from your mentor?” Adria asks.  “Or something you picked up on your own.”

“On my own,” Jowan responds, not looking up from the book.

“Is it helpful?” Adria asks. 

“Not sure yet.”

Adria leaves him to his book as she eats her oatmeal.  Nidora inches as close as she can to Adria and the two girls sit there, their thighs touching the whole meal. 

They leave the dining hall to meet up with their mentors and Nidora convinces Jowan to put the book down long enough to actually walk.  She points out that he’s less likely to run into things that way.  He retorts with the point that neither her nor Adria would let him run into anything.  But he shuts the book and carries it at his side nonetheless. 

“What do you think we’ll do when we’re older?” Adria asks.  “After we’re all mages?”

“Well, I’ll have to take on an apprentice at some point,” Nidora says wistfully.  “I’m not sure if I’ll make a good mentor.  But every mage in this damned Tower has to take on an apprentice at some point if they want to hold any pull.  I’d like to see myself as First Enchanter some day!”

“I think I’d like to take on apprentices too,” Adria says.  “I’m not sure I want to be First Enchanter though.”

“You can’t be First Enchanter if I’m First Enchanter,” Nidora teases. 

Adria shrugs.  “I don’t want to be First Enchanter anyway.”

Both girls look at Jowan.

“What about you?” they ask in near unison.

“I just want to get passed my Harrowing,” Jowan says quietly.  “Then I’ll figure out my next big aspiration.”

Adria bites her lip, unsure of what to say to that. 

“You’ll do fine, Jowan,” Nidora insists, clapping Jowan on the back.  “You worry too much.  Relax! It’ll all work out! We’re all too young for the Harrowing anyway.”

Jowan sighs.  “It has little to do with age.  They take you when they think you’re ready.”

“I still think you should relax,” Nidora says.

Adria can almost see the frustration building in Jowan. 

“Look, Jowan,” she says, before Nidora can incite him further.  “Stressing yourself out isn’t going to help either.  Just keep doing what you’re doing and don’t do anything stupid and I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“I would keep doing what I was doing,” Jowan replies, defensively.  “But you two interrupted me.”

“Casting magic isn’t good on an empty stomach!” Nidora chimes.

Jowan growls quietly under his breath. 

The three of them pass by a pair of Templars.  Adria notes that one of them keeps a very close watch on her.  It’s not the usual despising glare or “holier than thou” glare.  It’s an interested look and when she looks at him, he turns away.  Cullen.  That’s his name.  Adria shifts so that she can walk closer to Nidora.  The girls do not hold hands outside of the dormitories, but Nidora senses Adria moving closer and her body angles toward the other girl. 

Adria tries not to think about all the bad things that can befall a group of apprentices.  She tells herself that everything will be fine.  All three of them will go through, and complete, their Harrowing and become Mages.  Nidora will likely go first, but then she can tell Adria and Jowan what’s coming.  Then, between Adria and Jowan, they’ll both get through their Harrowing’s eventually and then all three of them will be mages. 

“Quit looking like you’re worrying,” Nidora hisses quietly.  “It only makes the Templars think they have more power.”

“Maybe I don’t want their attention,” Adria hisses back.

Nidora grunts half in agreement and half in annoyance.  There are always stories of what the Templars do to women apprentices (and even younger mages.)  So far, Nidora and Adria have escaped scrutiny.  Adria can only hope they remain away from the Templars’ gazes.  It is the only part of the Tower she has concerns about. 


	2. A Harrowing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adria's friend, Nidora goes in for her Harrowing, except she doesn't come back. Adria and Jowan are left with fear and doubt.

Suddenly, it’s Nidora’s Harrowing.  Adria only knows because Nidora doesn’t wake her up that morning.  Adria wakes up to other girls shuffling around the dormitory, getting ready for the day.  Nidora is absent.  Adria immediately knows why.

Adria makes her way to breakfast, her mind everywhere but her studies that she’s supposed to be working on later that day.  Jowan is surprisingly already there, absentmindedly snacking on a muffin.  He looks up from his book as Adria sits down next to him. 

“Where’s…” he begins.  “Oh.”

He knows too.

“I’m sure…” Adria begins.  She can’t finish her sentence.  Jowan doesn’t ask her to.  Jowan puts down his muffin, no longer having an appetite.  Adria stomachs down some juice, but that is all she can manage.

She doesn’t really know why she’s worried.  Nidora is the one who is most likely to pass her Harrowing.  She is strong and knowledgeable, and has so much potential.  Adria casts a glance upwards, to where the Harrowing Chamber is on the fifth floor. 

But Nidora doesn’t come back by lunch.  Or dinner.  With every hour that passes, Adria worries a little bit more.  Jowan isn’t around at lunch, but she finds out at dinner he’d spent his lunch in the library trying to figure out if there were cases of apprentices being _too strong_ for the Harrowing and what would happen to them.  He doesn’t find anything. 

Still, after dinner Adria finds herself in the library with Jowan doing more research in a span of hours than she’d done in the span of weeks.  She finds nothing out either.  The Harrowing is a hushed subject and not written about frequently.  Jowan starts researching demons and Adria wonders if he’s on to something.

But nothing comes of the research. 

As much as she doesn’t want to admit it, Adria knows the truth as the two apprentices leave the library and head towards the dorms.  Jowan probably knows too.  Neither of them speak of it.  Jowan is terrible at interactions, but he tries miserably to comfort Adria anyway.  His hand weighs on Adria’s shoulder as he pats it a couple of times.  Adria doesn’t know what to say.  Jowan clears his throat a couple of times, but ultimately says nothing either. 

They split off to their separate dorms.  Adria looks at Nidora’s bed, unmade.  Pursing her lips, she walks to Nidora’s closet and opens the door.  The closet is full of the standard apprentice robes and a change of boots.  No one in the tower has a lot of personal items, and apprentices are at the bottom of the totem pole beyond that.  Even people who remembered where they came from weren’t able to keep anything before being sent to the tower. 

Nidora remembers little more than Adria as far as her time before the Tower.  She knew she was from Lothering, but that was about it.  Nidora lacked stories of parents abandoning her or running around on the street.  She’d always figured that she’d lived a happy life until the magic showed up.  The Templars likely came not long after. 

Adria runs her fingers along Nidora’s robes, wondering if they will ever be worn again.  She accidentally knocks over one of the boots in the bottom of the closet.  It falls and she distinctly hears a jangling—of jewelry, perhaps?

“Hmm,” Adria says to herself.  She reaches into the boot and pulls out two small pieces of jewelry.  One is a ring of resistance.  The other, a charm of flame held on a small metal chain. 

Adria wonders if Nidora ever planned to wear them, or perhaps to give them away.  Fire is not Nidora’s favorite primal spell.  Nidora is one for ice.  However, fire is Adria’s primal spell of choice.  Adria keeps both of the charms.  _If_ she sees Nidora again, she’ll give them back.  But for now, she vows to keep them safe in her own pockets.  Adria is unsure what will happen to Nidora’s things.  But the Circle probably shouldn’t find the charms in Nidora’s closet.

Of course, they probably shouldn’t find them on Adria’s person either.  But Adria finds comfort in the jewelry.  They were Nidora’s.  Adria is desperate to have anything of hers.  She falls asleep with them clutched to her chest and feels no remorse. 

~*~

Adria and Jowan sit huddled together the next morning at breakfast.  It is eerily quiet without Nidora’s talkative presence.  Adria knows she is not the loudest person.  Jowan will talk forever on a subject he knows a lot about, or when he’s trying to get someone to do him a favor.  Yet at this moment, the two are silent.

Senior Enchanter Uldred walks by and to Adria’s complete amazement, he stops right by them.  Adria looks down at herself to see if she’s forgotten something important—like her clothing.  There should be no reason that a senior enchanter should be paying any apprentices not his own mentees any attention. 

“You were Nidora’s friends?” he asks, looking between Adria and Jowan. 

“Yes, sir,” Jowan stammers, sitting up straighter.

Adria nods and bites back her comment about his use of past tense.  She already suspects that Nidora is gone, but she doesn’t want to hear it just yet. 

“I’m so sorry,” the Senior Enchanter says with a little bow of his head.  He looks so genuinely apologetic that Adria feels a little less bitter. 

She shifts in her seat.  She wants to ask what happened to her friend, but she knows little about the Harrowing and knows that Senior Enchanter Uldred will tell her nothing about it.  So she doesn’t bother. 

As it happens, Senior Enchanter Uldred turns his attention to Jowan.  “You have questions that I think I can answer,” he says.  “Perhaps you can meet me in my study sometime this afternoon?”

Jowan practically bounces out of his seat in surprise.  “Yes of course!” he manages. 

Senior Enchanter Uldred nods.  “I shall see you there.”  He walks away, then, as if the conversation had been a completely normal one. 

Adria waits until he is gone before turning to look at Jowan.  “What was that about?” she asks.

Jowan simply shakes his head.  “I was looking into ways to perhaps increase a mage’s mana pool,” he said.  “Theories, of course.  It’s something I’ve been researching, but I’ve been hitting a lot of dead ends.  However, I learned that Senior Enchanter Uldred might have some knowledge on the matter, so I wrote him about it.  I guess he decided he wants to talk about it.”

Adria purses her lips.  “And he brings this up practically in the same breath as condolences for Nidora.”

Jowan’s face darkens.  “Yes, that was poor timing on his part.”

Adria just wants to be held at that moment.  But she and Jowan are only friends.  Maybe one day that will be different, but today was not the day to pursue such a thing in any case.  There is a lump in her throat and a pressure behind her eyes.  Adria looks down at her food and hope that Jowan doesn’t notice. 

Nidora is gone, and nothing anyone does will change that. 

~*~

“Are you going to tell me what the Senior Enchanter told you?” Adria asks Jowan the following day. 

Neither of them have spoken aloud of Nidora since the brief condolences they’d received the day before.  Jowan doesn’t seem to want to talk about her at all, so Adria finds it best to avoid the subject.  Pestering Jowan about completely unrelated matters is preferable, almost normal, even. 

Jowan looks up at Adria and thinks about the question for a second before it dawns on him what she’s really asking.  “Oh, no,” he says.  “It ended up having nothing to do with mana pools.  It must have been some big misunderstanding.”

Adria can’t help but think that he’s still avoided answering the heart of the question, but he does seem rather embarrassed, so it likely _is_ a misunderstanding.  Jowan hates those, especially if he could in any way be held responsible.

“Oh,” Adria said slowly.  “That’s truly unfortunate.”  She has nothing else to say after that and resists the urge to slam the book she’s reading closed and throw it across the room.  She has no more patience for reading, though if she wants to be around Jowan, that’s all she can do.  She wishes that she could just practice magic without supervision.  But she is still an apprentice and such a thing is highly punishable.  She considers going to one of the practice rooms instead, but that would require being alone.

Jowan takes a breath, as if to speak, and Adria freezes, not daring to look up at him and interrupt his thought. 

“You and Nidora were… close… weren’t you?” Jowan asks, his voice quiet.

“Yeah,” Adria draws the word out, wondering what Jowan is getting at.

“No, I mean _close_.”

The way he says it leaves Adria no room for misinterpretation.  She looks him in the eye and nods.

“I’m very sorry,” Jowan says.  “I miss her too, because she was also my friend.  But she was much, much more to you.  And I’m… I’m sorry.”

Adria tries to swallow the lump growing in her throat.  She doesn’t bother trying to respond to Jowan.  Her face tries to scrunch up and it takes every bit of her self-control not to break down crying right there.  It’s been bad enough the past couple of nights.  She hasn’t been sleeping well.  She can’t get the thought out of her head that if she hadn’t slept through them taking Nidora, maybe things would be different—if she’d only managed to wish Nidora good luck somehow, Nidora might still be alive. 

“The real shit of it,” Jowan continues.  “Is that we’re the only ones who will truly remember her.”

Adria’s stomach plummets and she shakes her head, though she knows Jowan is right.  Apprentices die all the time in the Tower.  Not only the ones that don’t make it past the Harrowing.  People die, or are made Tranquil.  Only the ones who completely fit into the Chantry rules make it through. 

She manages to swallow the lump and wonders if she can still be ambivalent towards the Tower after this. 

“Yeah,” she manages after a moment.  “That’s the shit of it all right.”

“We have to make it through our Harrowings,” Jowan says.  “We have to find out why Nidora didn’t.”

Adria nods, full of resolve.  There is still no telling when either one of them will be selected for _their_ Harrowings. 


	3. Continued Apprenticeship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the wake of Nidora's death, Adria compares her relationships with other apprentices and the one Templar to Jowan's relationship with Lily. Lily confides in Adria that Jowan has been acting strange. Meanwhile, Adria hates how no one remembers Nidora.

Adria opens up the door to one of the storerooms in the basement and lets out a hiss when she sees who else is in there.  Jowan and Lily look up at her with shock and embarrassment.  Jowan’s worry fades to blasé very quickly though when he recognizes Adria’s face. 

“Again?” Adria whispers shortly.  She finds she does not have the patience for walking in on Jowan’s exploits. This is not the first time she’s walked in on them in various places around the Tower. 

“Like you have room to talk,” Jowan scoffs.  “How many people have you messed around with this last week?”

Adria rolls her eyes, but Jowan is right.  There have been a lot of people.  None of it really means anything though.  With the other apprentices, it’s temporary release and pleasure.  Adria makes a point not to pursue anyone who wants anything more serious. 

Of course, then there’s the Templar she’s sort-of-not-really seeing.  It was his idea.  It’s arguably dangerous for Adria to be seeing him, giving Jowan a poignant point.  Templars and apprentices aren’t supposed to fraternize any more than apprentices and those in the Chantry.  The Templars are there to keep the mages in check and apprentices more so.  However, the Templars still figure their chances with pressuring an apprentice or a mage into something will go over better than trying to get one of the Chantry sisters to be less than pure.  It’s not an unfair assumption, either.Still, it’s a purely physical relationship and that’s all Adria and Hadan want out of it. 

A year or so ago, Adria was completely terrified of what a Templar could do to her.  She did her best to fly under the radar and be small.  Because, if a Templar decides that the “relationship” is over, the _best_ an apprentice can hope for is a simple break off where nothing else changed.  However, it isn’t unheard of for Templars to make up stories that the apprentice being a blood mage, or having succumbed to demon possession. 

Adria can only hope that if Hadan breaks things off, they will just stop having sex and that would be the end of things.  Adria doesn’t dare tell anyone.  The Chantry sisters would probably encourage her to pray, but Adria has no proof that the Maker’s even listening, so she doesn’t bother.  It’s easier simply to remain blasé about the whole thing.

And, at least with Adria, she makes sure all exploits happen in places where other people aren’t going to stumble in on them—like in the supply closet. 

“Maybe you shouldn’t be doing things in the supply closet where _anyone_ can find you,” Adria finally says, voicing only the most pertinent of her thoughts to Jowan. 

“There’s not a whole lot of places where we can do things,” Jowan argues.

“Just be more careful,” Adria groans.  “And hand me one of the fire crystals.”

Jowan reaches up and grabs the crystal before handing it to Adria. 

“We should probably be getting back to our duties,” Lily finally says, smoothing her Chantry robes.

Jowan sighs, but admits she is right. 

“See you around,” Adria says.  She leaves them alone after that. 

~*~

Cullen grabs Adria’s attention later that afternoon.  More like he corners her.  Adria backs up against the corner and wonders if Cullen is going to proposition her like Hadan did.  Cullen is more awkward than Hadan though, and it shows.

“Can I help you?” Adria asks tersely.  She has other things she needs to be doing.

“You’re not still seeing Hadan are you?” Cullen asks.

Adria snorts.  “I am,” she says.  “What of it?” _Why does everyone insist on making this my business?_ Adria’s thoughts add, but she doesn’t want to say those words out loud.  Cullen, for some reason, has taken interest in Adria as of late—interest in her well-being.  She’s tried to suss out whether or not Cullen’s _interested_ in her _physically,_ but that never goes anywhere.

“It’s not safe,” Cullen hisses.

Adria manages a shrug.  She wishes she could just tell Cullen that she likes having sex with Hadan, but she’s tried that already to no avail.  “So’s telling him no,” she says instead.  “I’m an apprentice, there’s nothing I can do.  Maybe, if I pass my Harrowing, I can try and break things off with him, but I’m not counting on it.”

“If you pass your Harrowing?” Cullen asks slowly.

“Nidora didn’t pass,” Adria scoffs, steering the conversation away from Hadan.  “And she was better at everything compared to me.”

Cullen cautiously takes a step back, but Adria figures it’s more because he doesn’t know what to do with Adria’s emotions that are welling up and spilling over than actual fear of Adria’s magic.  Talking about Nidora always has that effect.  And Adria knows better than trying to use magic on a Templar.  She’d find herself dead out of “self-defense” before she could call up a second spell. 

“Nidora,” Cullen says slowly, as if trying to remember who she even was.  He probably is.  That’s the thing about the Tower.  There are so many apprentices that the ones that don’t make it soon get forgotten.  Adria has made it her personal goal not to forget Nidora.  She hopes Jowan doesn’t forget her either.  She once tried to mention Nidora every chance she got, but it became too hard as everyone else forgot.  Adria’s heart breaks a little every time she learns of forgotten apprentices.  She wonders why they are seen as so expendable.

“Right, Nidora!” Cullen says after a bit.  “But that was almost a year ago.  I’d argue she went for her Harrowing too early.”

“Do you know what happened to her?” Adria finds herself asking.  She hates to think that Nidora could have just _died_ during her Harrowing.  Nidora wasn’t that type of person.  But if an apprentice doesn’t pass, they don’t live.  Adria doesn’t think about it much, but she has to wonder if maybe there was foul play at Nidora’s expense. 

Cullen shakes his head.  “I wasn’t there, I just heard other Templars talking about it and I know how old she was.”

Adria sighs.  Nidora had been a couple of years older than Adria.  Not that they celebrated birthdays in the Tower, but everyone had a rough idea of how old they were.  Nidora and Jowan had been the same age, give or take a couple of months.  It’s why Jowan’s so concerned that he hasn’t had his Harrowing yet.  But maybe if Nidora went too early, that’s why Jowan’s hasn’t happened yet. 

Adria frowns.  If Nidora had gone too early, why hadn’t they given her more time?

“Look,” she says, catching Cullen’s gaze.  “There’s nothing you can do about Nidora.  And there’s nothing I can do about Hadan.  She’s gone and I’m stuck with him.”

“Maybe I could talk to him,” Cullen says. 

“Good luck with that,” Adria retorts.  “But careful, if he thinks I put you up to it, he’ll take it out on me.”

Cullen pales and Adria skirts around him.  The conversation is over.    

~*~

Lily finds Adria a couple of days later.  Adria is almost surprised Jowan isn’t within arms’ reach.  But perhaps the two have taken Adria’s suggestions of discretion seriously. 

“Can I help you?” Adria asks the Chantry sister.

“Walk with me, perhaps?” Lily suggests, her voice kind but a tad strained. 

Adria offers a small sigh, but agrees to go with the other girl.  Lily looks concerned about something.  Adria can only assume it has to do with Jowan.

As they walk out of earshot of anyone nearby, Lily begins to speak.  “I’m worried about Jowan.”

Adria purses her lips.  She’d been correct.  “What’s wrong?”

“Have you noticed anything off about him? Him being jumpy or a bit nervous?”

“More so than usual?” Adria asks.

Lily laughs a little.  “I’m not entirely sure, but he seems to be looking over his shoulder a lot more lately.  I was wondering if you knew something I didn’t.”

Adria looks down at the floor as they walk.  She hasn’t noticed Jowan acting strangely—or, not any stranger than usual.  She wonders if she hasn’t been looking very hard or if there is anything to see at all.

“Honestly, every time I look at Jowan, he’s got his nose in a book,” Adria answers after a bit.  “I’m sorry Lily, I just haven’t noticed anything else about him.”

Lily takes in a deep breath and Adria wonders idly if that breath is the only thing holding the sister together.  “It’s fine,” Lily says, her voice tight and controlled. 

Adria has the urge to make it up to the woman.  As much as she doesn’t necessarily approve of Jowan and Lily’s relationship, Lily is still a nice girl.  It seems almost cruel to let her beat herself up.  Especially if Jowan is the one that has her so worried.  What could he possibly have done?

“I’ll keep a closer eye on him,” Adria offers.  “I’ll try and figure out what’s going on with him.  Chances are, he’s panicking about the Harrowing again because he does that frequently.”  There is a pang in Adria’s stomach as she thinks about the Harrowing and Nidora and how Jowan had panicked about the Harrowing a lot before Nidora’s, and even more afterwards.  Lily seems to notice the tension and tries to smile to ward it off.

“Thank you,” she says.  “I appreciate it.  If anyone knows Jowan, it’s you.”

Adria smiles back at Lily.  She hopes that it’s just Jowan worrying about the Harrowing.  He seems convinced he’ll figure out what the Harrowing _is_ if he works hard enough at it.  But he’s been at it for years.  Then again, it’s not like mages in the Tower are generally _revolutionary._ Adria’s lived here her entire life and there has never once been a major policy change. 

Lily and Adria split off.  Lily probably to go back to the chantry and Adria starts walking in the direction of the library.  Or her dorm—it’s not like they’re far away from each other.  But her goal is to find Jowan and see if he’s acting as strangely as Lily thinks he is. 

She hopes, for everyone’s sakes that he’s not. 

“Please just let this be normal paranoid Jowan,” Adria murmurs to herself.  “And nothing out of the ordinary.” 

She’s not sure who she’s asking.  While she’s heard the Chants and knows about the Maker and Andraste, she’s not sure how much she believes they can influence any individual soul. 


	4. Rude Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Harrowing is not what she expected and Adria finds herself looking for every reason as to why Nidora didn't pass it.

_“Not my daughter! Please don’t take my daughter! It was just embers escaping from the fire, she has no signs I swear it!”_

The voice is largely unfamiliar to Adria, though in the fog between wake and sleep she can’t help but wonder that perhaps she has heard those words before.  The Fade is always an interesting place in dreams. 

Suddenly, Adria is being shaken awake.  She sits up and groggily realizes that she’s still wearing her robes from the night before, she’d been up late with another apprentice and hadn’t bothered changing into her nightclothes upon coming back to the dorm. 

Then she realizes who else is there—a Templar.  She can’t see his face for he has his helmet on.  “Hadan?” she asks. 

“Come with me,” the Templar responds in a whisper.  He’s not Hadan, Adria can tell from the voice.  But she can’t place _who_ exactly this Templar is. 

“What’s going on?” Adria asks.

“Quickly and quietly,” the Templar hisses. He provides no other answer.

Adria gets out of bed and follows the Templar out of the dorms.  The Tower is oddly silent and Adria wraps her arms around herself.  She shivers, though she’s not sure if it’s the cold or fear.  She tells herself it’s the cold—though it’s spring now.  Fear has no place in her chest, so she quells it. 

She follows the Templar up and up the Tower, to the fifth floor.  Adria now knows what’s going on. 

She doesn’t walk quickly enough into the Harrowing Chamber and the Templar gives her a shove.  But Adria wants to take it all in.  This is her Harrowing and she wants to survive it.  Even more so, she still wants to know why Nidora _didn’t_ survive it.  Now is her chance to get answers.

The Harrowing chamber is dark and smells like all sorts of magic.  Adria had never been particularly good at sensing the Veil separating the Fade from the rest of the world—it all just felt like magic to her—but she can tell that it’s particularly thin here.  She swallows a lump in her throat.

There are two more Templars in addition to the one who brought her here.  One of them is Cullen—he’s the only one without a helmet.  Adria wonders idly if Hadan is the other Templar, but she won’t be able to tell unless he speaks.  First Enchanter Irving and Knight Commander Greagoir are there as well. 

Knight Commander Greagoir begins reciting a part of the Chant of Light—the part that has to do with magic not ruling over a person.  Adria’s heard it a million times. 

“Your magic is a gift,” he continues.  “But also a curse.”

Adria purses her lips.  She’d never expected the Harrowing to include a lecture.  But then Irving jumps in and starts talking about how she must enter the Fade and face a demon as part of her Harrowing.  He seems concerned, but also resigned.

“If you fail to defeat the demon,” Knight Commander Greagoir tells her.  “It will turn you into an abomination and the Templars will be forced to slay you.”

The question of “is that what happened to Nidora?” is on Adria’s lips, but she can’t bring herself to ask it.

“I am ready,” she says instead, looking at First Enchanter Irving.  His face seems more understanding than Greagoir’s.  As a mage, Irving would have gone through a Harrowing. 

They point out a pedestal on a dais that will be her way into the Fade.  She gives it a wary look.

“The Harrowing is a secret out of necessity child,” Irving tells her.  “Every mage must go through this trial by fire.  As we succeeded, so shall you.”

Adria nods. 

“Keep your wits about you,” Irving continues.  “The Fade is a realm of dreams.  The spirits may rule it, but your own will is real.”

Greagoir cuts him off.  “The apprentice must go through this test alone, First Enchanter.”  He seems to be in a hurry to get this over with.  Adria’s lips curl up into a sneer but she holds her tongue. 

“You _are_ ready,” he tells her. 

Adria nods and casts a last look back at First Enchanter Irving.  His face is pensive and unreadable.  Adria squares her jaw and approaches the lyrium pedestal.  She reaches out and touches it.  Where her hand touches the lyrium, it begins to glow with blue light.  Then the blue light expands to surround her. 

~*~

Adria quickly decides she’s not scared of the Fade.  It literally looks like everyone’s dreams mashed together to the point that everything appears in shades of muddy browns, yellows, and greens.  She sees small glimpses of blue and purple, but nothing very vibrant.  Even her own robes—which are blue—look browner and duller. 

After hardly any time at all, Adria runs into a mouse, who turns out to be an apprentice who failed his Harrowing.  He’d been there so long that he could no longer leave the Fade.  The Templars had killed his body and he has nothing to return to. 

“Does that happen to a lot of mages?” Adria asks.

Mouse shrugs and shakes his head.  “It’s all so fuzzy, I don’t remember.”

“Damn,” Adria mutters.  Her skin feels itchy now that she is aware of the hidden time limit.  Why hadn’t Irving said something? How long is too long?

Mouse doesn’t have an answer for that either.  Apparently, he’d run away and hid upon getting to the Fade, and by the time he’d thought to do something about it, it was too late.  Adria had initially felt sorry for him, but this news leaves her significantly less sympathetic. 

Adria mulls over why the Templars would even force the mages to fight demons in the first place.  It makes her uneasy, but also determined to come out having bested a demon.  She heads off and Mouse follows her. 

~*~

She’d sees even more spirits and demons than the one she’s sent to fight.  There are the wraiths and wolves that she honestly would leave alone if they didn’t attack her first.  There’s the valor spirit who she ended up challenging to a duel and earned a staff out of it to help her channel her magic.  And a sloth demon willing to help Mouse shapeshift into a bear in addition to a mouse.

At last she finally finds the Rage Demon summoned for her.  It talks about gaining a foothold in the world and seeing it through her eyes. 

“Come and get me, if you can,” Adria spits. 

“So this Creature is your offering, Mouse?” the Rage Demon asks, looking at her companion.  “Another plaything as per our arrangement?”

The bottom falls out of Adria’s stomach.  She’s been betrayed! Of course, everything had been falling together too easily. 

Mouse vehemently shakes his head.  “I’m not offering you anything.  I don’t have to help you anymore!”

Adria raises an eyebrow.  Mouse’s newfound confidence was great and all, but that doesn’t change past actions.

“Aw, after all those meals we shared,” the demon asks.  “The Mouse has suddenly decided to change the rules?”

“I’m not just a Mouse anymore.  Soon, I won’t need to hide.  I don’t need to bargain with you!”

“We shall see,” the Rage Demon growls.  He lunges at Mouse first. 

Adria suddenly realizes that Fire as her specialty will do her no good against a Rage Demon.  She gathers forth the power of air and forms Lightning instead.  Mouse changes back into his bear form and claws at the Demon, biting it as growls rumble up his throat.  Adria sends some Arcane Bolts to the Demon to help finish him off.  She keeps a wary eye on Mouse, unsure if he might turn on her at the last second. 

Then, almost too easily, the Rage Demon melts. 

Mouse changes back into a human form.  “You did it!” he exclaims, sounding genuinely excited for her.  “You actually did it! When you came, I hoped that you might be able to...” he trails off.  “Well, I never really thought any of you were worthy.”

His last words are said with such distaste, Adria almost wishes she had convinced the Sloth Demon to teach _her_ change into a bear.  Her upper lip curls up menacingly at Mouse and she quells the fire inside of her to wait for more proof. 

“The other ones you betrayed,” she growls.  “What were their names?”

“What?” he asks, almost confused.  “The others? Oh, none of them were nearly as promising as _you_.  I… I don’t remember their names.”

He starts babbling about how he doesn’t remember his own name even and Adria gets more and more agitated with every passing second. 

“So what?” she seethes when he pauses for breath.  “Are you trying to get something out of me?”  

Whether it’s entirely true or not, she holds Mouse responsible for Nidora not surviving her Harrowing.  Nidora wouldn’t just give into a demon like that.  Someone must have interfered. 

“Why, you defeated a demon, you passed your test, you’ll be a master enchanter in no time,” Mouse flatters her.  “And maybe, there might be a place in the world for someone like me, if you’re willing to help.  You just need to want to let me in.”

Mouse really was some sort of demon.  Adria bares her staff.  “I’m beginning to think the other demon wasn’t my test.”

Mouse laughs.  “Why whatever else…” he begins, but Adria glares until he drops the sentence.  “You’re a smart one.” His voice deepens.  “Simple killing is a warrior’s job.  The real dangers of the Fade are the preconceptions, careless trust, and pride.”

Adria watches as he transforms again, to a figure much taller than she.  A Pride Demon, perhaps? She prepares a spell, wondering if she’s made a terrible mistake…

There is a flash of light before blackness engulfs her. 


End file.
